Reader matter:

While I was actually more youthful (I’m 27 now), I found myself a jerk. I lied, cheated, utilized drugs, don’t love my personal look, had no skill or training, was regarding shape. And women ADORED me.

I will have a fantastic job, an extensive group of buddies, an in shape human anatomy, creative ability and sharp garments. I am good looking, honest, nice, understanding, informed. Now that i have gotten my life together, females don’t appear really thinking about myself at all.

Tend to be ladies threatened by myself? Are they switched off because it’s me fixing myself, perhaps not all of them? Carry out females like wanks?

-John (Maryland)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear John,

I smell something slightly fishy.

Although you paint a common picture of just how some females with a stressed attachment design get stimulated by contradictory poor men, I am slightly suspicious that ladies are rejecting you because you are now actually an effective guy.

Actually, I’m actually some doubtful you could have undergone an individuality and ethical transformation of these magnitude in such a short span of time.

Provided, kicking a drug practice can easily change your character, which means that your story can be totally correct.

And/or you may be however inside “working truly, really hard to improve” phase and tend to be feeling slightly resentful that all the type building you may have completed goes unnoticed.

One easy location to drive that resentment is actually toward women who tend to be disregarding you.

Please understand among things that happens when someone cleans up their unique life and will get a fresh work is because they enter a fresh peer class, one that might deliver some personal anxiousness.

You’ve stepped-up to a new league, son. Congrats. There will vary personal regulations in this category.

My personal recommendation: Wait watching. Then you will know exactly ideas on how to work whenever the right type of lady makes the radar.

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